A Note, Li’ Dat, To Kauai Protestors

Don Chapman
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September 05, 2007
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Here’s what Braddah Bash (as in Cala-) has to say to residents of Kauai who protested the arrival of the Superferry:

Mahalo for da aloha, li’ dat, when us Oahu guys try come Kauai on da Supahferry.


OK, OK, so we know you special, eh - Kauai is da one island Kamahemaha da Greates’ nevah wen’ conquer. Jus’ one leetle remindah, tho: Your chief joined da kingdom, and now you part of da state. Fo’ real! E komo mai!

And da folks you protesting against an’t'rowing rocks at is us Oahu peoples - local kine folks like you, yeah?

From what I saw in da paper an’ on top da TV, you t’ink we make less traffics if we fly ovah on one airplane and rent one car, ‘stead of taking da ferry wit’ our own vehicles. You know, ‘as kinda like my auntie - to make her coat less heavy, she cut off da buttons and put’ em in da pockets ...

Speaking of pockets, I kinda wonder who’s slipping some kala in your pockets fo’make you ac’ so lolo ...

‘An what, you want us protest when you try come Oahu fo’shop Ala Moana? Better watch it, we get plenny more peoples den you. So you like see one protest, ho, we show you one protest…

‘Kay den…

three star

Mahalo, Braddah Bash. And speaking of Kauai, here’s one less reason to visit the Emerald Isle: The back nine of the Kiele course at Kauai Lagoons, much of which runs along the ocean and overlooks Nawiliwili Harbor, is being plowed under to make way for luxury homes and condos. As you may know, I write for a number of Mainland magazines about golf, and have rated Kiele No. 1 in Hawaii, and that back nine as Hawaii’s best nine holes. It may be Jack Nicklaus’best design work anywhere, and ‘scuse me if I can’t help taking this like a death in the family…

So in the spirit of a wake here’s a true tale: When Kiele first opened, you could drive your cart nearly all the way to the green of the short, severely downhill 16th hole, with the the harbor on the left side. The reason fencing was later put in to prevent carts from going so far down the hill is that a couple from Japan was speeding down the hill, lost control of the cart and managed to leap safely from the cart just before it plunged off the cliff onto the rocks far below ...

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