Jimmer: New Flavor Of Reality Love
Wednesday - May 04, 2011
It seems like a story ripped from Signs of the Apocalypse. By that I mean the Sports Illustrated feature and not any biblical reference or Coast to Coast conspiracy theory.
Jimmer Fredette, the Naismith Award-winner who has never been known to go third person, has signed to star in a reality TV show joining Snookie, The Situation, Tila Tequila, the gals from Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, random skanks (did I just repeat myself four times?) and other assorted has beens, wannabes and “please pay attention to mes.”
The former Cougar sharp shooter said the show will allow him to share the excitement he’s feeling about his soon-to-begin NBA career with his fans. No comment has yet been released by BYU’s Honor Code office. Fredette is no longer a student, and a quick glance at the rules mentions nothing specific about triple kissing in a Vegas hot tub. So he should be good to go. That is unless Trishelle Cannatella makes a showing. Either way, he is going to get paid.
According to the Daily Beast, Kim Kardashian, the top-grossing reality performer, pulls down $6 mil a year for doing little more than ... well, I have no idea what she does except show off her big assets on TV and magazine covers. That wasn’t a criticism, by the way. Keep doing what you do, girl. Whatever that is.
The project is being produced by Van Morrison ripoffs Tupelo-Honey Productions, which will follow Fredette and his family as they get involved in all sorts of typically outrageous and wacky reality show situations like going to church, eating well-balanced meals and working out for NBA execs. Man, it’s going to get crazy up in there!
Tupelo-Honey president Cary Glotzer said in a statement, “It is not often you see a player with such talent, integrity and inspiration.” Oh crap! There go the ratings.
Fredette is from New York but is hardly New York. Heck, he isn’t even Vanilla Ice. It seems they are banking on viewers actually caring about someone with intelligence and character, but that hasn’t been seen in this format since Pedro Zamora allowed the world to watch as he slowly succumbed to AIDS 17 years ago.
Reality TV works because it’s cheap and it allows the viewer to feel superior to the wealthy and morally handicapped pseudo celebs who play characters based upon themselves. That’s going to be hard with one of the most normal athletes to come around in some time. But fame has a way of turning even the most level-headed individuals into ego obsessed divas who squander millions in their search for even more notoriety. So there is hope. more bizarre than reality.
Let’s put the questions to rest right now. Ohio State will not fire Jim Tressel. The university will let the NCAA go through its dog and buck-eye show and when the timing is appropriate - meaning when it becomes obvious the school and its once untouchable coach is set to get hammered - Tressel will resign. With the negotiated settlement check in his back pocket, he’ll claim he is stepping down to spare the school and his players any further suffering. He won’t admit to any wrong-doing, and university president E. Gordon Gee and athletic director Gene Smith will glowingly recall how Tressel, even though he made mistakes which won’t be addressed, brought honor and success to the program. Then they will make a run at Urban Myer. The old coach will lie low for a season, no more than two, before signing a broadcasting deal, likely with ESPN, which may pair him with Matt Millen to reinforce the notion that integrity is nice but knowledge and good pipes are critical.
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