Watch These Predictions Come True
Wednesday - April 18, 2007
Baseball is back and it’s time for the usual fearless, factless, gutless and obvious predictions for 2007.
* The New York Yankees will win the American League East and the Red Sox will whine about it.
* Daisuke Matsuzaka will win the American League Rookie of the year unless voters penalize him for being a rookie in name only.
* Barry Bonds will hit No. 756 and outside of San Francisco; no one will care.
* Lou Pinella will get thrown out of more games than Kerry Woods will win.
* Roy Oswald is 29, has a good hitting team around him, gives up runs at a miser’s pace and wins the NL Cy Young Award.
* Alex Rodriguez will hit .330 with 40 home runs and 115 RBI and will still suck.
* Albert Pujols will win the National League MVP and Ryan Howard will keep his mouth shut.
* Minnesota battles Detroit and Cleveland for the American Central title, giving hope to all small market franchises.
* The Royals will be anything but regal.
* The Giants will become the official baseball team of the AARP.
* Arizona’s Chris Young will win the National League Rookie of the year over Colorado’s Chris Iannetta.
* In a June 26 game against Texas, the Tigers’ Joel Zumaya will be clocked at 107 mph and the GM fountain at 83, proving once and for all that stadium radar guns are completely worthless.
* Sammy Sosa rediscovers he speaks English.
* Ichiro Suzuki will hit .335, collect 200 hits, steal 35 bases, play lights out in center field, walk far too infrequently while playing his final season in Seattle.
* Lou Pinella is the NL Manager of the Year.
* The New York Mets will bash their way into the World Series. Their pitching will make things interesting.
* Johan Santana wins the American League’s Cy Young Award.
* Toronto puts out a North of the Border murderers’ row of Vernon Wells, Frank Thomas and Troy Glaus, and will still finish third in their division.
* Someone will be dubbed the “Next Mays” if black or “Next Mantle” if white.
* The Cubs are rewarded for blowing their savings by winning the National League Central.
* Selig’s $14.5 million salary gets picked up by the Yankees. Boston appeals.
* Roger Clemens, once again 99 percent certain he won’t come back, returns to duty for another final farewell tour in New York.
*Tampa’s Akinori Iwamura will be more Hideki than Kaz Matsui.
* Ozzie Guillen will lose it. * Tom Glavine will win No. 300, Randy Johnson won’t and Craig Biggio gets 3,000.
*The Nationals will play just bad enough to give Royals fans something to snicker at.
* Not even Gary Matthews Jr.‘s ridiculous salary or his possible HGH problems will stop the Angels from winning the World Series and Mike Scioscia from grabbing AL Manager of the Year. The Tigers, however, could.
* Throughout the year the baseball people will be talking about Jackie Robinson while completely forgetting Larry Doby, or Hank Thompson, for that matter.
Let’s see how we do.
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