Yikes! Last-minute Campaign Ads!

Dan Boylan
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Wednesday - November 01, 2006
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Here we are, folks, into the final days of Hawaii’s 2006 election season. Ain’t it great?

I mean: Ain’t it great? Sometimes you gotta jump up and down, twirl your arms in the air, and laugh hysterically - just to keep from cryin’.

For example, as I write, Gov. Linda Lingle’s people are awash in righteous indignation. “Awash” doesn’t do it justice. They’re practically drowning in it, risking death by indignation.

Why? It seems Randy Iwase - the Democrats’ place-filler this gubernatorial year, has been lying. Yes, lying.

In his latest radio commercial Iwase’s been claiming that the good, the virtuous, the ever-vigilant and righteous Guv has committed a higher percentage of Hawaii’s National Guard troops to Iraq than most other states.

Nope. Hawaii ranks 38th among the states in that department, say the Guv’s people. Along with the false Honolulu Advertiser headlines Iwase running mate Malama Solomon ran recently in a television ad, LingleAiona Campaign Communications adviser and flack extraordinaire Lenny Klompus sees a “pattern of deceit” in the Iwase-Solomon camp.

Holy crow! Most folks aren’t even aware that the Democrats have names on the gubernatorial ballot. Iwase folks have neither money, nor name recognition, nor means to obtain either before next Tuesday, but Klompus can discern a “pattern of deceit.”

Oh Lenny, get a life. Your lady’s been huggin’the crown prince of presidential patterns of deceit for the past six years. George W. Bush and company make Iwase/Solomon look like truth incarnate. You, and she, are just supremely fortunate Iwase hasn’t the dollars to advertise the almost coital Bush/Lingle relationship.

Mazie Hirono, the Democrats’ candidate for the 2nd District congressional seat, does have the dollars; and she’s bringing the charge home against poor Bob Hogue, the Republican nominee. Hogue, Hirono’s TV ad says, claims to be a nice guy; but he’s really “not so nice” when it comes to “tax policy and the war in Iraq.”

“I support the president,” says Hogue in a clip. Nor is he so nice in his desire to “privatize Social Security.” “I support the president,” says Hogue in a repetition of the clip. Nor in his support for Bush’s “tax cuts for the rich.” Once again, from the clip, “I support the president,” says Hogue.

Wrapping Republicans in Bush this year constitutes the Democrats’media strategy across the country, from Florida to Minnesota, from New York and Connecticut to California and Hawaii.

Republican U.S. Senate candidate Cynthia Thielen doesn’t have much money either, but I wish she did. Unlike Lingle/Aiona and Hogue, she doesn’t “support the president.” Indeed, she’s called for a concerted national effort - similar to President John Kennedy’s commitment to put an American on the moon within a decade - to achieve energy independence for the United States.

Wow! At the beginning of their first administration, Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney wrote an energy policy conceived in fossil fuels and born in a petroleum bath. Thielen, bless her heart, wants to do what those good old Texas boys should have done six years ago rather than invading oil-rich Iraq, i.e., abandon our oiloholic ways.

That’s not all. Thielen’s also calling on the “stay the course” president to fire Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and Gen. John Abizaid for their poor handling of the war. What a quaint idea. In Bush world, incompetence usually gets you a Medal of Freedom. Thielen thinks it should get you busted.

I like that lady. Oh, I do like that lady.

Of course Thielen - like Iwase - hasn’t got any money, or very little, so you won’t be hearing these startling ideas of hers. Instead, we’ll listen to poor Bob - in mantra - saying “I support the president. I support the president. I support the president.”

We’ll also watch Gov. Lingle’s ads, all $6 million worth of them, ad nauseum. They’re so slick they almost slide off the television screen. “No one’s working harder,” her ads say, to improve education, create jobs, provide affordable housing, than - of course - der Linda und der Duke.

Don’t it make you feel sooooo good? Happy General Election Day to one and all.

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