Tell Her She’s Hot; A Special Song
Wednesday - March 28, 2007
Good advice from the “underage.” Only when I’m really bored do I turn to some of the less intelligent programs on TV for amusement. The other day I got stuck watching Engaged and Underage on MTV. The show follows young couples between the age of 18 and 22 as they get ready to tie the knot.
On this particular episode, a young couple named Jacob and Chantel were getting married. There was lots of drama, of course, with her family protesting and his family excitedly welcoming their new daughter-in-law.
I kept thinking the entire time that they were too young to get married, that they barely know themselves at 19. I certainly didn’t know myself at 19 - or at least I didn’t know myself well enough to be a wife.
But there was one bit of surprising wisdom that I got from watching this particular episode - from Jacob’s best man Gabe, who offered up some last-minute advice on how to keep the spark alive in marriage.
“Every day make sure you tell her you love her and every day say, ‘Hey, you look hot.’”
(I couldn’t help but think maybe Gabe was on to something important here.)
“It still makes ‘em feel like, ‘Oh, I’m still hot,’” he continued.
(Yes, yes, go on ...)
“I mean, obviously you know she’s hot, but for you to tell her that she is - it just reinforces it,” he finished.
(Bingo! I decided that Gabe was a genius - certainly wise beyond his years.)
Jacob seemed to nod in agreement before the two headed off to the ceremony.
I secretly hoped that Jacob really took to heart how important these words were. I’ve often spoken of how the little things matter, and this is definitely one of those things. Jacob was about to take vows to love, honor and cherish, but I’d like to think Gabe’s advice was equally as important.
Tell her she’s hot. Every day. And tell her you love her. Every day. Because even if you think your woman knows how you feel, there’s nothing wrong with a little reinforcement.
Finding your “song.” Speaking of love: I’ve realized that it can be a difficult task to find your “song” as a couple - you know, that melody and lyrical masterpiece that embodies the depth of your emotions and love for one another.
My boyfriend recently brought home a CD for me. It was John Legend’s Get Lifted. He played it during dinner and when the song Number One came on, he told me to “listen to the lyrics because it was how he felt about me.”
At the time, the chorus was playing and Legend crooned, “You know that I love you. There’s no one above you ...”
“Oh, how sweet!” I said. “How romantic!”
But later, I was looking at the lyrics to Number One and realized something horrible!
“Oh my gosh! The song is about infidelity!” I screeched. “He’s singing, ‘Now you can’t say I don’t love you just because I cheat on you!’ What are you trying to say?!”
Panicked into full defense mode, he explained that he hadn’t listened to quite all the lyrics before he played the song for me.
Long story short, the same album contains Stay With You, which is our new love ballad. It’s all about being lovers for a lifetime. Now that’s a good song.
Always going by the reviews. I have
a friend who won’t see a movie or read a book unless it has been given a good review. I understand that critics are paid for their expert opinions, but I can think of more than one time when something got a bad review and I liked it anyway.
A critic is just one man or woman with one opinion. And even if several critics have the same opinion, well, that’s OK too.
I’d rather find things out for myself. I’d rather have a bad experience at a movie or reading a book than by only hearing it was bad (or good) according to someone else who knows nothing of my taste in cinema or literature.
“But movie-goers gave it an average of a B-minus,” my friend Alex said one day as we were trying to decide what movie to go see. “That’s not very good. Let’s go watch something else.”
“So what!” I said. “It looked interesting to me and I want to decide for myself!”
“OK,” he finally relinquished. “But you’re paying.”
I guess that’s the price of having my own opinion.
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