Being A Pantywaist About Masculinity

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - June 20, 2007
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OK, I’ve been off for about two weeks, the biggest reason being that our 18-year-old son graduated from high school. Next to my wedding and the the birth of our two kids, it was probably the biggest and most eagerly anticipated event of our lives.

That also ranks it in fourth place as far as stress level related events go. Nothing is a sure thing so we had to keep an eye on our son who seemed to have a slight case of Senior Fever - an ailment similar to short-timer’s disease.

Making sure he met all graduation requirements for his rigid parochial school wasn’t easy. Still, my wife and I were relieved knowing that he would be receiving his diploma. Then a new level of stress set in - getting ready for his graduation ceremony.

Much of my wife’s family was here from the Mainland, so we were coordinating all the comings and goings for this special day. My wife vowed that there would be no way we would be late for this event. Yeah, right. Well, she actually started to get ready hours before we had to leave.

I thought to myself that this time we just might make it. Minutes before we were to leave the house, my wife asked, “Honey, please run to the store and pick me up some pantyhose.” Knowing that an outcry at this time would only make things worse, I kept my mouth shut and hit the store.

I ran up and down the aisles repeating my new mantra, “Size A, nude, control top.” Finally, with no success, I went up to a young stock clerk near the milk. Out of breath, I nearly yelled at him, “Where do you guys have pantyhose?”

He looked at me blankly and asked, “What kind?” Was this a trick question, I thought? Suddenly all the information I had memorized vanished from my brain and the only answer that came out of my mouth was, “The kind for women.” As opposed to the kind for men? What the heck was I thinking?

He actually ended up having to ask a female cashier, who happened to know me. She exclaimed, “You looking for pantyhose?” I said yes and unnecessarily clarified that they were for my wife. I came to find out that they no longer carried pantyhose.

I don’t know why us men feel we have to justify these purchases to strangers, even when it’s clear what gender they’re for. I guess I’m just not man enough yet to be a woman.


Crystal Yamasaki sent in, where surfers from all over the world can buy and sell new and used surf-boards. Check out their drawing for a new Kent Senatore of TORE Surfboards Hawaii, surf-board:

Pretty sick. Hey, send in your favorite websites to me at:

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