Wednesday - February 24, 2010
Ever since my mom moved back in with our family, I feel like I’m in a time machine or discovered the fountain of youth. That’s because since she’s moved back, I’ve gone from being a 51-year-old man to a 7-year-old little boy.
At least that’s how she treats me, and while we love having her back, I have to put up with it because I’m overruled in my own home. Since our son is away at college, I’m the only male in the house. My mother-in-law has also been staying with us, so it’s me and four women.
That would be my wife, my 12-year-old daughter, my mother-in-law and now my mom. They stick together pretty tight, which explains why my big screen TV has been exclusively used to view American Idol or figure skating at the Winter Olympics.
The household chore dynamics also have changed. I have exactly the same amount of man-chores to do around the house, but since my mom moved in, it feels like they multiplied. That’s because the stuff that I would do on my own, my mom now feels like she has to tell me to do them.
I know when I have to take the garbage bin to the curb, but she will remind me before I have the chance to do it. Same with changing out the empty five-gallon water dispenser bottle. I can see that it’s empty, and yet she feels compelled to point this out to me so “you don’t forget.”
The worst thing is that she’s containerized some of our kitchen ingredients to fit her needs. In other words, she’s transferred stuff like my Splenda sweetener into a plastic container. I use Splenda every morning to “fix up” my oatmeal - a regime I started when my doctor said I needed more roughage. I also add dried fruit and nuts to it, so it actually tastes pretty good.
The other morning I was making my oatmeal in front of my mom. I opened the Splenda container and scooped it onto my oatmeal. My mom asked why I was putting her Metamucil on my oatmeal.
I guess for the last three weeks I was inadvertently adding it to my oatmeal. That’s like mixing cement with Super Glue. This actually explains a lot that I won’t go into detail about here.
Ron’s WEBSITE of the week http://www.maddhawaii.com
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