Blaming Bush

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - October 14, 2009
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Recently, in our family’s attempt to cut costs on the home front, I decided to stop our monthly yard service. It was a luxury for me since our property is about the width of the Farrington Highway medial strip. Although the service saved me a bunch of time, the price escalated over the years to 60 bucks.

I figured I could rake, manicure our lawn and prune our bushes on my own and save some real green. So, the other weekend, outfitted with an iPod, pruning shears and my two bare hands, I went to take on nature. Since my wife and daughter weren’t home, I could do so without any scrutiny.


First on the agenda was to set up our green recycling waste receptacle so that I could throw all my trimmings into it. Somehow in the process of rolling it from my garage the distance of three feet to my front yard, I sustained an injury. While slamming the cover shut, I caught my right pinkie at the pivot point and crushed it at the base of my nail. Anyone who has done that knows that it hurts like a sonof-a-gun. I went into the house to find a bandage and hydrogen peroxide to clean it.

I might as well have been searching for life on Mars, as I can never find first aid supplies when I need them. I went to the garage and wrapped my finger in duct tape. I returned to the task at hand and went to pruning our pikake bush. Holding the clippers in my injured hand, I clipped away.

I was pretty amazed at the progress I was making and thought I should have taken this on a long time ago. Just then the music from my iPod stopped. I had inadvertently severed the ear bud wire. Upset, I returned to aggressively clipping the bush.

I suddenly felt excruciating pain in my left pinkie. That’s right, I mistakenly cut my own finger. It was like a botched Yakuza rite. It definitely needed to be cleaned, so without any hydrogen peroxide, I decided to do like the movies and use some high proof whiskey.

The people in my ZIP code must have wondered where the primal scream came from. I followed up by wrapping my left pinkie with duct tape. Just then my wife and daughter came driving up. There I stood, both pinkies wrapped in duct tape and my iPod ear bud wire hanging sans the iPod.

Before my wife could open her mouth, I blurted, “I just saved us $60!”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week

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