Busted At The Club

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - March 25, 2009
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Ron Nagasawa is on leave. This column was published originally in September 2001.

It’s not very well-known, but I belong to an exclusive club at work. No, not the Waialae Country Club or the Honolulu Club - I belong to the diet club.

The club consists of a bunch of us working stiffs who for a number of years have supported each other in our quest to lose excess “poundage.” It makes a lot of sense since we spend our work week around each other, so who better to police our bad eating habits than one of our own?

From the cabbage soup diet to the grapefruit juice diet, the high-protein diet to the blood-type diet, we’ve been through them all, together.


 

We’ve also failed them all, together. Still, via our club vows, we manage to keep each other in line through close scrutiny of what we each eat at work.

Since I have the least amount of self-discipline, I am constantly being watched, albeit for my own good, by the other members of the club.

This gets pretty tough on me since I am constantly bombarded by the offer of food nearly every day of the week.

It never fails that as soon as I decide to commit to a new diet regime, I’ll walk into the office and be offered some nice, hot manapua.

Either that, or someone is celebrating a birthday and I’ll be handed a plate of cake.

I always accept under the “be polite” clause, but a club member will come to the rescue and remind me of my diet. Recently, I tried to beat that system by surreptitiously obtaining food.

There’s a woman at work whose brother makes and sells smoked meat packaged in Ziplock bags.

With no club member in sight, I went to her and whispered that I wanted to buy three bags of the smoked stuff. If you didn’t know what was going on, you’d think this was illegal.

I cautiously looked around as she gave me the goods and I quickly paid her the money. Suddenly a diet club member came out of nowhere and uttered, “Ron, just say ‘no.’”

Ron’s WEBSITE of the week http://www.happier.com

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