False Arrest

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - July 29, 2009
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I don’t know about you, but when the ban on cell phone use while driving came into law, I had some difficulty getting started. I actually used hands-free devices long before they were required. It’s just that my consistency wavered because of convenience and vanity.

In the months leading up to the law going into effect on July 1, you would find me actually using a hands-free device on my cell phone. I know everyone says this, but my job requires me to be accessible 24/7, and my commute both to and from work are blocks of time when I get a ton of calls.

At first I refused to wear a Bluetooth wireless headset. It simply didn’t look cool enough and I didn’t want to look like one of those gadget geeks (although I am one). I’m happily married, but it’s just not a look that hot women appreciate.


Instead I opted for a wired set that originally came with my cell phone. It had an ear bud, but extending from that was a wire with a microphone on the end of it. I drove around with that for quite a few months. Then one day, I kept it on after I left my truck.

I stopped at a grocery store and when I got up to the cashier, he joked, “Hey, mission control, ready for launch?” As I left, I looked at my reflection in the glass doors and decided that I just discovered a surefire method of birth control.

I had to find a headset that looked cool or face getting ticketed by the ever-watchful HPD. After reading Alison Stewart’s Click Chick column one day, I settled on a black Jawbone Bluetooth headset. It looks like something Tom Cruise would wear in Mission: Impossible IV.

Of course, I don’t look anything like Tom Cruise, so the concept was lost on me. In any case, I was finally compliant. The other week I had a late night at work. I told my wife not to hold up dinner for me, that I would pick up something on the way home.

I stopped at 7-Eleven and bought myself a Spam musubi. I took off the wrapping and started to drive home. Suddenly, I saw flashing blue lights behind me. In the dark, eating a Spam musubi must have looked like I was talking on a cell phone. I presented my evidence to the now embarrassed officer.

Darn that Spam. Ingested or on my computer, it’s a pain in the okole.

Ron’s WEBSITE of the weekwww.radiohof.org


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