Guilty Until Proven Innocent

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - October 26, 2005
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In marriage, at least in my marriage, there are rules of engagement. I don’t mean the period leading up to a wedding, I’m talking about staying alive in a marriage. While my wife and I have a wonderful marriage, part of that is because I know the do’s and don’ts.

One of the most critical don’ts is that I should never refer to her, even in an argument, as old or, God forbid, stupid. First of all, she is neither one of those and although I’ve never called her either one of those names, I’ve seen her when it was even barely implied. It got pretty ugly.

I’ve always felt pretty safe about not breaking that rule, because as I said, I don’t think of her that way because she’s not old and certainly not stupid.

And she’s never said an unkind thing about me, so this mutual respect thing works for us - it must be love.

Still, that doesn’t always prevent me from getting into trouble. The other weekend my wife wanted to go to Ala Moana. For two weeks she was going to cover for the vacationing administrative assistant at our 8-year-old daughter’s school, and said she need some clothes, as she hadn’t bought any new work attire for a long time. I had no problem with that, so we grabbed our daughter and off we went. When we got there, I wanted to go do my own thing and offered to take our daughter while she went to shop at the Old Navy store.

My daughter and I cruised the mall until it was time to meet my wife. It was noisy but I said to my daughter, “Let’s go find mom at Old Navy.” When we hooked up with my wife, I saw our daughter whisper something in her ear. My wife gave me “the look.”

She lectured, “Your daughter said that you called me an old lady.” I suddenly turned into F. Lee Bailey and defended myself on the misunderstanding. I was able to convince my wife, ie., the jury, judge and executioner, that I was innocent.

Thank God she wasn’t shopping at that store called David and Goliath’s The Stupid Factory.


Master storyteller, Jeff Gere, sent in his site which supports featured storytellers on his half-hour show.

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