Law of Attraction
Wednesday - October 21, 2009
When you have to take that bite of a reality sandwich, make sure you have something to wash it down. Last month I entered the second half of my life having turned 51. Up until then, I didn’t really feel like I was getting old, but what a difference another year makes.
I find myself needing to go to bed earlier. I seriously start to get sleepy as soon as Wheel of Fortune comes on. Of course watching that is my excitement for the night, also indicating that I am over the hill. The real indicator that I’m getting old comes from our 12-year-old daughter.
The other week she was doing an imitation of me that was dead on. I felt like I was a Saturday Night Live bit spoofing John McCain. It really bothers me that one year I feel like a dynamo and the next a spokesman for Benefiber. The other thing that bugs me is that my vision is getting worse.
Without glasses, that is. Last week I had to pick up something from Ala Moana. I was walking in a current of young, attractive people. Suddenly, in the distance, I saw a woman waving her arms, trying to get my attention. I didn’t have my glasses, so I squinted to see who it was. As she got closer, I could hear her calling out, “Hi, baby, I can’t believe it’s you!” It was in that high-pitched kind of voice and she was heading straight for me with both her arms extended ready to hug me. I turned my head to look behind me but saw no one in my vision that she might be heading for.
As she got closer, she got louder and I was trying really hard to figure out who it was. She looked like one of my ex-girlfriends from ancient history so I feigned recognition so as not to embarrass her. Now she was practically running toward me. I extended my arms to catch her.
That’s when she flew past me and plucked a little toddler from out of a stroller behind me. It would-n’t have been so bad except she was totally oblivious to me and on a nearby wall there was a line of spectators who were now laughing a part of their anatomy off. I tried to regain my composure and kept walking past them as though nothing happened. I started to do the John Travolta Stayin’Alive stride. That’s when I stepped on a rock or something and did one of those bobbles where your ankle goes sideways but you don’t fall down.
Thank God my daughter wasn’t there. I would have given her enough material for a year.
Ron’s WEBSITE of the week www.hmsa.com/Akamai
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