Making No Bones About An Order
Wednesday - November 09, 2005
Since I’m in the media business, I know quite a bit about what is known as “branding.” It’s kind of a product identification thing that you want people to associate with when they see or hear it.
Take this column, for instance. When people meet me, I’m immediately branded as “the MidWeek guy.” Not because I’m the publisher, but because for the past eight years people have read about all facets of my life, and pretty much had a good laugh about it.
In the newspaper business, we spend a lot of brainpower and money trying to establish the right kind of branding. In my life outside of work, it seems like this branding thing is getting out of control and to the point where it’s downright confusing.
Every time I get sent to the store, I have to be sure I get the specific brand or product that my wife requests. Let me tell you, that it isn’t easy. Take toothpaste and soda for example. With toothpaste, I have to search among the brands, each having a variety of combinations.
Paste or gel, tartar control or baking soda, fresh mint or cool mint, squeeze tube or pump and any combination of the aforementioned. And soda is worse - take Coca-Cola. There’s Classic Coke, Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, Diet Coke, decaffeinated Diet Coke, Coke Zero, Diet Coke with Splenda.
The cherry and vanilla also come in diet, and classic also comes decaffeinated. It’s pretty harsh, and don’t even get me started with feminine hygiene products.
It’s gotten so bad that I can’t even order food. The other week I went to Zippy’s with a specific request to get beanless chili.
While I stood in line to place my order, I noticed the variety of chili. Besides regular, there’s beanless, vegetarian and now turkey chili. As I pondered that, I got to the front of the line. The girl at the counter asked for my order. I confidently barked, “Give me a quart of boneless chili!”
I guess I was thinking about the turkey and beanless chili at the same time. The girl obviously had great training and replied, “Sir, they’re all boneless.”
Yeah, just like her customer is brainless.
Ron’s WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Last week I ran Mynette Louie’s officially unofficial blog she writes for the Hawaii Film Office. We inadvertently ran the URL incorrectly. Here’s the correct one: www.hawaiifilmoffice.blogspot.com
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