Nagasawa’s Theory Of Relativity

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - October 24, 2007
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Some of you may watch that TV show called Heroes. It’s about a bunch of regular people who have extraordinary super powers. I think the character, Hiro Nakamura, played by actor Masi Oka, may be based on me. He has the ability to time travel.

Been there, done that. Actually, while I can’t manipulate time, I certainly have confirmed on numerous occasions Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and Time Continuum. I live that every day, except that I call it Nagasawa’s Theory of Relatives and Time Vacuum.

If I want to slow down or stop time, all I have to do is seek out relatives, namely my wife and daughter, and take them shopping. I have proof that one hour can seem like 12 of them. For instance the other weekend, we were at Ala Moana Center.

They wanted to go off on their own which is totally OK by me as I can kill time at the Mai Tai Bar. We set a two-hour time limit when I would meet them at the Rolex clock in the middle of the mall. I went to the bar for a beverage, pupus and people watching. I also had a rather fetching waitress.

The two hours flew by as though it was five minutes. I dragged myself off the couch and headed to the clock to meet my ladies. I was at the rendezvous area right on time, but my wife and daughter were nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes ticked by when my cellphone rang.

My wife said they were running behind and lost track of time. She said they would be there in a couple of minutes. Those “couple of minutes” translated into nearly an hour. Picture me standing under that clock and the hands spinning around the face of it, just like in the movies.

When they finally got there, the time vacuum had aged me about 20 years. That’s according to my wife, who said I was acting like a grouchy old man.

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