Not A Creature Was Stirring

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - December 26, 2007
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‘Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through our house was preparation for our daughter’s Christmas program, so stressed was my spouse. The school had asked to see if we’d share, one of our daughter’s dolls to play baby Jesus with hair.

My wife had agreed to provide for their manger, a blond-headed doll with eyes that seemed stranger. I had no idea this arrangement was made, so I watched the program and was not dismayed. We drove separate cars as I just came from work. I had to be early and not be a jerk.

At the end of the program, my wife helped break down the set. I wanted to go home and drink something wet. I knew in an instant it might be a beer, but from my wife, that might draw a sneer.

Unbeknownst to this father, the doll was placed in a car. The back seat of his wife’s, since she didn’t go far. She forgot to take it into their home, and there the doll sat in the car all alone. When I got to the house there was all this chatter, the gang wanted Starbucks, that’s what was the matter.

My truck had no gas, so my wife’s car was selected, picked up my cell phone and to her car was directed. I opened the door, and put the phone on the rest. I knocked it with my elbow, to the back seat, I guess.

When I reached back and turned to examine the “sitch,” I saw a figure staring at me and yelled, “son of a ...!” It was too close to Christmas so I stopped short on my curse, but I had no idea I was driving a hearse.

I started laughing so hard, I thought I was Punk’d, still from now on, all dolls ride in the trunk. So that’s my holiday story of the other night, Merry Christmas to all and keep them dolls out of my sight.

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