Perils Of The Perfume Paradox

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - December 07, 2005
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I had wondered why recently they called the big shopping day after Thanksgiving Black Friday. It seems appropriate for us guys who would-n’t be caught dead in a mall on one of the busiest shopping days of the year, but for retailers and our spouses seems like it should be Golden Friday.

It’s become a tradition for my wife to hit Ala Moana with her mom and dad and our kids that day to start our Christmas shopping. I never thought I’d say this, but thank God I have to work on that day. It’s better that I don’t go because I’d drag everyone down with my complaining.

I thought I was pretty much in the clear when I received a call from my wife. She said that our 16-year-old son and his girlfriend stayed behind and needed me to swing by after work to pick them up. The only thing I could think of was the traffic and parking problems I would face.

Sure enough, I circled the lot in search of a spot. I finally found one, although I was so far away, I was practically in Guam. I got out of my truck and decided to anchor myself in an area at the mall where my son could find me. While waiting I heard my name being called from a distance.

It was coming from an attractive woman, and I realized it was one of my former assistants. With her was her husband and pretty little daughter. She gave me a huge hug since it had been a couple of years since I’ve seen her. Naturally, my son and his girlfriend arrived and saw me in the clench.

It was all very innocent, but on the ride home in my truck, I could smell perfume on my shirt. If I could smell it, there was no doubt in my mind that my wife would pick up the scent, even if I was a block away. It’s ridiculous, but I started to mentally map out a plan for my explanation.

You see, things were complicated by witnesses who could either implicate me or clear me completely. I had to decide whether I say nothing or risk interrogation by super-olfactory woman. I guess as a whole, we married men are pretty much ruled by our wives when we have to worry about not cheating on them with another woman.


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