Silencing Mr. Ed

Ron Nagasawa
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Wednesday - May 30, 2007
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It’s kind of nice now that school is winding down for our kids. That means the intensity and quantity of homework assignments start to noticeably dwindle. The homework of our 18-year-old son is all on him, as we would need Ph.D.s to even understand some of his homework questions.

My wife and I can still help out with our 10-year-old daughter’s homework, although fourth-grade math today can send me into a tizzy. Technically, my wife is the homework helper and I am the school project guy. That is a hard and fast rule of hers, as the suffering must be shared.

I think my wife gets the raw end of the deal because homework is five nights a week while projects might be once every quarter. Still, I keep my mouth shut, but when my wife gets frazzled over a math problem, I get tagged and called into the ring.

It’s usually over a word problem, and having me help our daughter is like asking an infant to drive you to the store. Anyway, I give it my best shot. The other night I was helping our daughter with a math word problem and it involved a guy named Ed.

It went something like, “If Ed has three pizzas and 11 guests at his party, How many slices must he cut each pizza into so that everyone has at least two slices?” My daughter looked at me and asked, “Dad, why do guys who hang out with Ed always need to take medicine?”

Surely, this was a trick question and I asked what she was talking about. She said that she sees all these commercials on TV about how men with “ED” should take Cialis. After comprehending her misunderstanding, I stared at her, wrestling with how to explain the difference between Ed and ED.

I was silent for 10 full minutes then suddenly yelled for my wife. She came running in, asking, “What’s wrong? Did someone get hurt?” I stood up and told her, “Your daughter needs help with her homework. I’m gonna go outside and clean the garage.”


My buddy Robin Kimura of the great 1970s band Greenwood sent the dedicated website for their recent ‘70s nightclub band reunion event. See local disco at its best:

Most of you won’t get this, but do the Hustle, then send your favorite websites to me at: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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