Wednesday - November 04, 2009
Every once in a while, just when I’m thinking I have a really hard job, something comes along that turns it around. I had a harrowing week at work and suddenly received a phone call.
“Ron, we’d like you to be a judge for the ‘best legs’contest between all the Miss Hawaii USA contestants.” First I made sure I wasn’t dreaming, and then I inserted my index finger in my ear and jiggled it around to make sure I heard right.
Apparently the pageant was raising money for the Samoa Relief Fund, established after the recent earthquake and tidal wave devastation. I immediately volunteered. After hanging up the phone, I realized that I failed Marriage 101 by not talking to my wife first.
It’s not like I need her permission, but in any situation where I am examining parts of another woman’s body I’d better be up front with the reason, no matter how good. My patter went something like this, “I have to help with an event that benefits a great cause. Some kind of judging thing.”
My wife immediately recognized the evasion and the interrogation ensued. That I was trying to conceal it was worse than the actual event. That opened me up for a bunch of teasing, but in the end I had a green light. My wife ended it with a sidebar, “Just don’t get carried away,” whatever that meant.
As a judge, I absolutely had VIP treatment. We were fed, had free drinks and a secluded seating section where all the Miss Hawaii USA contestants were congregating. They each were going around the room getting people to purchase tickets from them at a dollar apiece, cash only.
The purchase of a ticket was like a vote for your favorite contestant’s legs. This was a separate competition to generate funds for the cause. Although I was a judge, I was being solicited for these tickets. I didn’t think it was conflict of interest and since the proceeds went to the fund, I went for it.
The problem was my only cash was money from the sales I made at work for our daughter’s school fundraiser. After being plied by these fetching women, I gave up every last dollar I had.
The next morning my wife asked me how it went and naturally she teased me about looking at all those legs. As she readied to leave to take our daughter to school she said, “Oh, I need to turn in the fundraiser money today. Let me have it.”
Ron’s WEBSITE of the week www.kokua.coop
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