What You See Is What You Get
Wednesday - September 07, 2005
I’m starting to get a little worried about how my family perceives me. Although I’m a really normal guy, some of the things I do make me look like Napoleon Dynamite. For those of you who don’t know who that is, he’s kind of like a cross between Pee Wee Herman and Keith Richards.
The problem is that the situations I get into which are completely innocent, tend to make me look really weird, and my family doesn’t seem to notice the difference anymore. I think their acceptance level of my antics has exceeded the minimum daily requirement, so they’re on autopilot.
The other day I was home by myself. The kids were with my wife, and my mom was at her spa. I figured I would do some reading when I discovered that I lost a screw on my glasses. Luckily, we had one of those eye glasses repair kits.
I sat down at the kitchen table to repair my glasses, which these days I need to use for practically everything I do that requires clear vision. Repairing my glasses, I found, would require clear vision. In other words, I needed to wear my glasses in order to repair my glasses.
I figured I would don another pair of glasses, but my wife had hers with her. I went to my mom’s room and found a pair of her spare glasses. Of course, it had the kind of frames that local senior Japanese women wear - they or Elton John.
Anyway, I was in business. I started the repair when I dropped the microscopic screw on the floor. The only way I was going to find it was by getting on my stomach and scanning every square inch of the floor with my face about four inches away from it.
Just then my wife and kids came home and walked through the kitchen door. I looked up wearing my mom’s glasses from my prone position on the floor. The kids said “Hi, Dad” and went to their rooms.
I thought that my wife must be wondering what the heck I’m doing sprawled out on the floor wearing these ridiculous glasses. She looked at me and said, “Honey, did I get any phone calls?”
On a much more serious note, here are a list of three websites by which you can make donations for victims devastated by hurricane Katrina.
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