Wendell Say Goes Long With Family, Faith And Football

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Wendell Say (back right) is ready to make his 29th season his best one yet as Aiea High School head football coach. Photo by Byron Lee, .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).

Back when he was a special agent for the U.S. government, Wendell Say’s briefcase was filled with cases.

In retrospect, however, the most demanding assignment he may have taken on was the courtship of eventual wife Lili-Ann.

“I noticed her right away when I saw her, and I was friends with her brother,” recalled Say. “I used to call her and ask her out, and she always said no. I called her at least once a month for a year. I’ve always been persistent,“he added.“Finally, I said, how about a double date with your brother and his girlfriend? We haven’t been apart since.”

Added Lili-Ann Say, whose maiden name is Hashimoto,“I laid low - he was a friend of my brother (Willard), and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing,” she laughed.

As the couple celebrated their 23rd wedding anniversary (as well as Wendell Say’s 52nd birthday) last weekend, the subjects that have always consumed their life together were once again at the forefront - family, faith and football. At the end of this month,Wendell Say will begin his 29th season as the head football coach at Aiea High School.

“When we talk about football, that’s when I know I can get a long conversation out of him,“Lili-Anne mused.

Off the field, moments of leisure are few for the couple, who are raising three kids - son Kalei, 16, a senior-to-be at Aiea, and daughters Kristi-Ann, 12, and 19-year-old Sara-Ann, who suffers from a seizure-disorder that has rallied the family together.

With the long hours that go into coaching, it’s hardly a surprise that Wendell Say’s first thought is always of family. He quotes the late Alabama coach Paul “Bear"Bryant, who said famously, “There ought to be a place in heaven for coaches’ wives.”

A few years earlier, Say penned an article about Lili-Ann titled The Unsung Hero, which ran in Island Football magazine.

For her part, playing the role of dutiful coach’s wife has not been without its challenges, Lili-Ann said.

“It hasn’t always been easy, especially with kids. Kristi and Kalei make a lot of sacrifices to be right there to help me with their sister (Sara-Ann), who is mentally challenged. I support Wendell 110 percent. It seems like yesterday that we were married - and he doesn’t know this yet, but I’m going to marry him again on our 25th anniversary.

“The Lord is also really important in our lives,” she added.“He’s the foundation of our lives.”

Around the Aiea football program, Lili-Ann is something of an alter-ego to her husband.

“After we started dating, a lot of our dates were going to football games so I could scout (the opposition),” Wendell said. “That was before you could film games (involving other schools). She would always go with me. She’ll even go to games by herself to film teams we’ll be playing if I can’t find someone (from his assistant coaching staff). And on game night, she’s the one selling our T-shirts.”

As one who grew up with four brothers, Lili-Ann was perhaps ideally suited to the sports-heavy world of her husband.

“It was always baseball and football growing up,” she said.

Say’s long tenure as the caretaker of the Aiea football program can be traced in large part to his ability to adapt, and not just scheme-wise. Indeed, as at home, Say brings a calming presence to the program.

“He’s pretty much the same person you see on the field,” said Lili-Ann. “Occasionally, he’ll get mad on the field, but he’s not that way at home. He has his moments, but he’s very calm.”

Say’s football journey started at Leilehua High School in the 1970s where he had a solid career as a player with the Mules under Hugh Yoshida, among others. He moved on to Linfield College in Oregon, where he played for head coach Ad Rutschman and his position coach, Mike Riley, currently the head coach at Oregon State. Following graduation, Say spent 10 years as a special agent in law enforcement with the federal government before returning to college for a master’s degree in counseling. He is currently an outreach counselor at Aiea for all four grades.

“It was so intense, and the work load so heavy that he actually fell asleep a couple of times waiting at a traffic light,” his wife recalled of federal agent years.

His 29 years as Aiea’s head coach have been richly rewarding, he said. In addition to on-field accomplishments (Na Ali’i won the Division II state championship in 2003), a number of his former players and coaching colleagues from Aiea have gone on to become successful head coaches on Oahu, including Les Parilla (Roosevelt), Amosa Amosa (Campbell), Fred Salanoa (Radford), Alfred Viloria (Leilehua head JV coach) and current Leilehua varsity coach Nolan Tokuda.

On his way back from Dallas, recently, where he attended a counseling conference, Say stopped off in Las Vegas and met up with some former players - an engineer, a sales manager, a school-teacher and a maintenance supervisor for a golf course.

“Seeing the kids succeed in life is my greatest reward,” he said. “It was nice to get together and talk story with them. Last season, I had eight kids on the team whose fathers I coached, and there are more coming up from the eighth grade. I guess when I start getting their (former players’) grandkids, I’ll get worried.”