A Pointed Lesson

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Wednesday - September 10, 2008

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Sometimes I’m so smart I scare myself. I kind of have to be smart to get myself out of all the boneheaded predicaments I get into. OK, I’m not smart, just clever out of necessity.

The other week I was in our kitchen washing the dishes. Our kitchen sink is in front of a huge window, but our view is of the neighbor’s wall since we live in a zero-lot neighborhood. Still, we get lots of sunlight through that window, which is why it is the choice spot for live potted plants.

In our house we only have one living plant. It’s a miniature cactus, which may explain why it’s still alive. My wife’s sister-in-law gave it to us some years ago and its size, including the pot, is not much bigger than a softball. Anyway, as I washed the dishes, I decided to water the cactus.

I picked it up and moved it toward the faucet. Somehow, I knocked it out of my hands and it started to fall to the floor. With reflexes I didn’t know I had, I caught the cactus with two hands just inches before it would hit the floor. The problem was I caught it on the cactus side and not the pot side.

The end result of that save was both my hands ended up stuck with all these tiny cactus spines. It was like every fiberglass-like spine transferred into my palms and fingers. I embarked immediately on a removal process as it smarted like heck.

In the middle of trying to “tweeze” out the spines, I suddenly had the strong urge to use the bathroom. That was not going to be possible given that both my hand were now porcupines. I accelerated the effort to remove the spines, but my bladder was winning out.

A temporary solution then came to me and I headed back into the kitchen. From under the sink I pulled out a pair of those yellow Playtex rubber gloves. I put them on my hands and they would act as a barrier. The solution worked out well and I finished my business.

As I came out of the bathroom, my wife was standing there and she saw me exit wearing those yellow rubber gloves. Before I could say anything she turned around and started walking away, saying, “I don’t even want to know.”