A Real Icee Relationship

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Wednesday - November 28, 2007

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Ron Nagasawa is on vacation. This column was published originally in March 2001.

I think that when a situation occurs and it has a distinct familiarity, it’s called “deja vu.” For me, when a situation occurs and the exact same thing happens every time, it’s called married life.

Take, for instance, last week when my wife and I had a social function to attend on a weeknight. This takes advance planning of a scale only equaled by a major event, let’s say, like the Super Bowl.

The primary task is to secure someone to watch our 3-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son. While my mom lives with us, we never take it for granted that she’ll do it. Another advance concern is that my wife has the proper attire selected for the event.

There’s also making sure that the kids are bathed and fed. Still, no matter how many times we go through this preparation scenario, when we’re about to head out to the car, my wife will exclaim, “I need a new pair of pantyhose.” We are always at least 15 minutes late when she tells me this.

Last week was no different, so she asked me to stop at Foodland so she could buy a pair. While she did, I bought a strawberry Icee and leaned against the car while drinking it. She ran out with a package and we jumped into the car and headed to our destination.

She started to hike up her dress and was putting on the pantyhose while I drove. I looked at her and said, “Are you crazy? Someone’s going to see you.” That’s when a truck pulled up next to me and I head a guy yelling, “I see, I see.” I retorted by yelling, “What are you lookin’ at?”

As my foot hit the gas pedal, my Icee, which I apparently left on the roof of the car, flipped over and spilled all over my wind-shield. I then knew what the guy was talking about.

I didn’t say anything for the rest of the drive and my wife finally asked if I was upset about the pantyhose thing. I said no, that I was upset because I just wasted a perfectly good Icee.