Clothes Call

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Wednesday - November 18, 2009

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Anyone who reads this column knows how much I dislike going clothes shopping with my wife. It’s actually gotten a lot better than when we first started going out together, for as any man can tell you, you will do practically anything for your girlfriend, even clothes shopping.

These days my wife has a partner in crime - our 12-year-old daughter. That gives me the freedom to go off on my own and not have to wait around while my wife tries on outfits. If at Ala Moana, I will then support the Mai Tai Bar’s business and make my contribution to the struggling economy.

Well, the other week I was notified that I was one of the recipients of a media award. This meant attending a big to-do black tie event. Naturally I wanted my family with me, and although our son is on the Mainland attending college, I would have my two “girls” with me to share the moment.

The problem was that my wife and daughter needed to get appropriate outfits to wear. Since it was “my” event, I was obligated to go with them to shop so that I could, according to my wife, render an opinion. Man, I hate that, but I agreed.

Why my opinion would count for the dress of a 12-year-old girl, I have no idea. Whichever outfits I liked, my wife and daughter didn’t. Of course, all the outfits I voted for looked like a nun’s habit. We finally decided on a great-looking dress with me conceding that our daughter was growing up.

Then the real challenge started as my wife wanted to find a reasonably priced evening gown. I was ready to approve any outfit she selected regardless of cost just so we wouldn’t be shopping until the end of the world in 2012. I wasn’t the problem, however, as she could not find anything she liked.

After going to about five different stores, things started to look bleak and I think she just wasn’t in the proper frame of mind to shop. Frustration reared its ugly head with her, and I was getting wary and started to lose my patience. Finally my wife threw up her hands and said she couldn’t find a thing.

Having dedicated hours to this quest, I lost my head and said, “Why don’t you go look in the muumuu section?” Well, a few days later she found a knockout gown, and you should all know that sleeping on the couch is underrated.