How to make love grow
Six of our favorite Island couples share their secrets to maintaining a loving, long -lasting relationship. George & Jean Ariyoshi, Michael & Bina Chun, Bruddah Sam & Lina Girl, Patrick & Marisa Gey, Jim & Tracy Orillo Donovan, Dog & Beth Chapman
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been together for 20 years. They finally got married “the Christian way” two-and-a-half years ago. Their anniversary is May 20.
How did you meet?
Beth: Dog bailed me out of jail when I was 20 years old for shoplifting a lemon and carrying a concealed weapon (the shoplifting was later dropped).
Was it love at first sight?
Beth: When I first saw Dog, I said to myself, oh yes, he will be mine. Let the stalking begin.
What was it about the other person that made you love them?
Beth: Dog is surprisingly different on the inside. He is very soft and loving, always wants to be the peace keeper. His optimism, his faith in God and his passion for life. The drive he has is infectious. His absolute bad-boy image and good looks were all a bonus, and the fact that I could not have him made him appealing. A good chase has always thrilled me.
Who does the cooking, laundry, dishes, etc.?
Beth: I do the cooking, and Dog does the vacuuming and an occasional load of laundry. He is a clean freak.
How did you celebrate your last anniversary?
Beth: We celebrated our last anniversary on the beach near Napili Bay on Maui, as it was only our second anniversary. It was a cotton anniversary, so I wanted to try to think of something special that involved cotton. We had a beautiful Luxury tent erected on the beach and decorated it in the finest of cottons, linens, cotton-ball cotton on the floors, cotton in crystal cylinders, candles, fresh flowers - it was truly Tarzan’s lair minus the monkeys. I wanted to just have a romantic night on the beach watching a very romantic sunset and enjoying the man I adore.
What interests do you share, and are there some things one of you is into that the other has no interest in?
Beth: We share the love of football. We both like to swim and go to the beach with our kids. We enjoy outdoor sports.
And we both like horseback riding, snorkeling and kayaking. We work out together and just generally want to be around each other. (As for differences), he has no interest in shopping at all. He will not go ... he has to be tricked.
Dog: She does not like to go camping, and fishing by the lake is not on her must-do list.
What’s the thing you most admire/respect about your mate?
Dog: Her relentless ruthlessness. No, just kidding. The thing I admire the most about her is her loyalty and how she has stuck by me.
What’s been the key to making your love last?
Dog: For me, it is passion. Beth: He gives me so much affection and attention that I never wonder where his heart is. Loving patience and constant renewal of affection for my one true bounty.
Can you share with us a funny moment from your early days of dating?
Dog and Beth: There are so many to recall. We laugh a lot.
If and when you argue, how do you make up or resolve the situation?
Dog: She is always right. I kiss butt, apologize and the real hunt begins.
Michael Chun, president of Kamehameha Schools, and wife Bina have been together for more than 40 years.
How did you meet?
Michael: Well, actually we grew up together because her brother was my classmate, and so I’ve known Bina since we were kids. It was probably second or third grade when I first knew who she was. We were high school sweethearts eventually.
Was it love at first sight?
Michael: Well, I was probably 7 years old ... I don’t think it was love at first sight. She was my classmate’s bratty little sister.
Bina: No, it wasn’t. He had big glasses and was really pretty dorky looking.
He was my brother’s good friend.
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If kids are involved, how did becoming a parent change your relationship, and which of you was/is the “disciplinarian”?
Bina: The big thing is that we share their joys and their sorrows. We look at them always, forever as being part of our family. We’ve come to realize that our ministry is serving children. When we go through tough times, it’s our kids who have been there for us - it’s very heartwarming. As for disciplinary action, that’s me, definitely me.
Who does the cooking, laundry, dishes, etc.?
Michael: She does (laughs). Bina does everything for me. She gets my breakfast in the morning, ‘cause I’m a breakfast guy - I mean, I got to have a hearty breakfast.
How do you resolve differences?
Bina: I’m usually quiet until he sees the light (laughs).
Michael: I’ve learned that regardless if I’m right or wrong, after a certain period of time it’s better just to act like nothing happened and move on.
Bina: I think as you get older it’s less important. You just come to the conclusion that it’s better to be having a nice time with each other than to be at odds. What’s critical to our relationship is a sense of humor.
What interests do you share, and are there some things that one of you is into that the other has no interest in?
Bina: We’re opposites (laughs).
Michael: I like football; she likes reading. I like to fix the yard up; she likes to fix the house up. She’s much more reserved than I am.
What’s the thing you most admire/respect about your mate?
Michael: Her intelligence is one, very, very intelligent, very perceptive, very quiet. She’s very insightful. I also admire her loyalty. She is drop-dead loyal to her family, to me and to the school, to our mission and to our ministry. Another quality is really her kindness that sometimes people don’t always have the opportunity to see and to experience, and so they don’t know that. But when they do, it’s genuine.
Bina: I admire his character. He has always been a person of character, and I think that has only strengthened over the years. He’s honest and he’s good-hearted, he’s a good person with no ego. And I think one of the things I do in this relationship is to make sure that he doesn’t develop a big ego, and he can count on me to tell him what I’m thinking - and it’s not always what he wants to hear. He’s also truly a good Christian and has that heart that’s based on Christian values.
What’s been the key to making your love last?
Michael: Our appreciation for each other. I appreciate how much she’s sacrificed. She’s sacrificed so much for this marriage. And even from our youngest days, the opportunity for her to go on to law school, doctorate program, she put all of that aside so that we could do some of the things that, at the time, we thought were important. We enjoy each other.
When did you realize that you loved each other?
Michael: I think it was in high school when I thought, well, this is the girl - and I was right, because it’s been over 40 years.
Bina: It was the same time for me, too.
Jim Donovan, athletic director for the University of Hawaii, and wife Tracy dated for about a year before they tied the knot Aug. 26, 1989.
How did you meet?
Jim: We had the exact same start date (in UH athletics) - Sept. 3, 1985.
Tracy: The students would come by and say, ‘I think he likes you,’ and I was like, ‘No, we’re really good friends though.’ We were not dating, and it was the football media day at what is now Ching field. And later on (that day) he says to his friends, ‘I’m gonna marry that girl one day,’ and they’re like, ‘Ahhh, you’re so full of it, Donovan. Are you guys dating? Does she know?’ And he was like, ‘No.’ Lo and behold, eight months later, we were married.
What was it about the other person that made you love them?
Jim: We had great talks and, of course, she’s very beautiful, and the camaraderie, the friendship was very nice. It just clicked, it really clicked.
Tracy: When I really thought about what was important for me to look for in a husband, it was someone who I knew I would be able to grow with.
If kids are involved, how did becoming a parent change your relationship, and which
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