How to make love grow
Six of our favorite Island couples share their secrets to maintaining a loving, long -lasting relationship. George & Jean Ariyoshi, Michael & Bina Chun, Bruddah Sam & Lina Girl, Patrick & Marisa Gey, Jim & Tracy Orillo Donovan, Dog & Beth Chapman
Del.icio.us
|
of you was/is the “disciplinarian”?
Tracy: We have two kids. Our daughter Jackie is 16 and our son Josh is 14.
Jim: We have a very close family, and we enjoy each other’s company a lot more than we had anticipated. They love sports. Sports run through our family, and that’s a common theme. It was tough at first, because we were both working on our master’s when they were really young. But once we finished our master’s, it really gave the family time to settle down and be together, and it’s really nice.
Tracy: In disciplining the kids, we both do it in different ways. I’m the more day-to-day because I’m with them more often. But boy, when Jim needs to hunker down, he’s right there.
Jim: She’s the regular weapons. I’m the nuclear weapons.
How do you resolve differences?
Tracy: It’s changed over the years. I think we really have learned to fight battles that are important to us, and when the other one recognizes that somebody’s really for something or against something, then I think the other one sort of adjusts. Because it’s one thing about marriage, both people have to come from the perspective of the other person.
How do you celebrate your anniversary?
Tracy: It used to be that the family vacations were in August during the summer when the children were younger, and so what we would do is sort of celebrate kind of the whole month. But now things have gotten a bit more complicated. The children have to be here, they’re in school in August, we’ve settled for dinner and a movie. But here’s the thing: We never quite get to the movie ‘cause we’re just exhausted.
Jim: The deal is, we do so many evening functions which we’re grateful to have those opportunities, so it’s funny, on our anniversary we’ll go to dinner and then we’ll just be like, ‘let’s go home and rest, ‘cause it’s a night off.’
What interests do you share, and are there some things that one of you is into that the other has no interest in?
Tracy: Sports, definitely sports. We both like to travel, and when we travel, Jim always likes to drive, and I don’t mind being the passenger. When we travel, we also involve everyone and what they want to do. The Wii-Fit also has become a family affair.
When I think about our marriage, it sort of boils down to the three C’s. You really need to be committed to the person. The second C is caring enough to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. I mean, Jim really does try to identify with my quirky ways, and I try to do the same. The last thing is really communicating, because although it sounds very cliché, it really is very important.
What’s the thing you most admire/respect about your mate?
Jim: There are a few things that jump out at me. Her intellect, her drive, how much she wants to do things right whether it’s at home or on the job - not perfectionist per se - just wanting to do good. And she’s very caring. She has a huge heart.
Tracy: I think what I admire most about Jim is that he has such a positive attitude. He could have the worst day at work and he’d talk about how bad it was, but then he always ends it with something positive. And it turns my attitude into a more upbeat mood.
What’s been the key to making your love last?
Jim: We say ‘I love you’ every day; it’s as simple as that. It really sets the tone, and you never know when’s the last time you’ll ever be with or see somebody, and you just don’t want to have any regrets that that’s how you felt, but you didn’t say it.
Tracy: I also think it’s always being willing to appreciate how your spouse is developing as a person. Jim and I have both changed over the years, and we always have a true appreciation for who we are. We love to learn about different things.
Is there a funny moment when you were dating that you can recall?
Jim: She had a party at her house, and so I’d thought I’d drop by and bring her a bottle of wine, and she had all her staff over. So, I remember getting off my motorcycle at the time, and bringing over the bottle of wine, and sitting down next to her.
And I was wearing some shorts, and I was hoping that we could start dating pretty soon. And she goes, ‘My, you have really white legs.’ And within a minute and a half I said, ‘OK it’s time for me to go.’ (laughs) And for the next three days I went out and sat in the sun to get my legs tan.
Lina Girl, radio personality for KCCN FM100, and Bruddah Sam, singer for the group Vaihi, have been together since 1995. They were married civilly June 28, 1997, and five years later were sealed in the temple with members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
|
How did you meet?
Bruddah Sam: My friend was hot for her and would call her up and bug her all the time. I was working at Texaco, and we would play her over the radio on Hawaiian105. My friend would call her up because he liked her voice; he thought she was super hot. One night he was getting on her nerves, and he told me to request a song, Pua Ahihi, and she asked me why I would like such an old-fut song. So we argued on the phone for about 30 minutes. That was our first meeting. Then I gave her my phone number and she called me up and we’d talk story for the next two years.
Lina Girl: We met at Kaneohe Zippy’s parking lot. I had my Pocahontas shirt on. He wanted to come to my house, but I said, ‘No way, you might be crazy!’ (laughs). So, we met and listened to music. He sang all the wrong words to Kapena songs and we laughed the whole night.
Was it love at first sight?
Bruddah Sam: Yeah, most girls I kiss, but I couldn’t, I was too shy to.
Lina Girl: For me, it was his eyes and his lashes. I don’t know if it was love at first sight, though. It took me a while for me to get used to him. He’s a punk (laughs).
What was it about the other person that made you love them?
Bruddah Sam: I loved her ‘cause she likes me. She so fun, we have fun together. She was like the trophy chick, too!
Lina Girl: All we do is laugh. I love him because he’ll laugh at all my jokes even when they’re bad.
Who does the cooking, laundry, dishes, etc.?
Bruddah Sam: We can cook! We can cook!
Lina Girl: Yes, we can cook and we can do laundry, but mom does it all for us. We’re very spoiled. We get to concentrate on our careers, which is Sam playing music for Vaihi, me working on KCCN FM100 and playing music with Na Wai.
How do you resolve differences?
Bruddah Sam: She’s always right.
Lina Girl: And when I’m wrong, his job is to just make believe I’m right.
How did you celebrate your last anniversary?
Lina Girl: Sam forgot to put in the Vaihi group calendar to take the day off because our anniversary fell on a Saturday, so he was booked with three gigs. So, I was slightly upset because my anniversary is also my birthday, so I threw my own karaoke bash. I invited all of my family, all of his family, all of our friends, and they’re like, ‘Where’s Sam?’ And I’m like, ‘He’s not invited’ (laughs). And then Dec. 28, which was our last anniversary, we just hung out.
What interests do you share, and are there some things that one of you is into that the other has no interest in?
Lina Girl: We pretty much love everything. We both love to read, we both love to laugh, we pretty much watch all the same shows.
Bruddah Sam: But she likes fantasy, I like to read nonfiction.
Lina Girl: He watches Colbert Report. I like The Soup. But we both love music - that was one common factor when we both met and throughout our life. We love to sing and entertain.
What’s been the key to making your love last?
Bruddah Sam: I accept her for who she is, and I don’t force her to be someone she’s not
Lina Girl: I like the fact that he lets me reinvent myself in the years that we’ve been together, and he’s been patient through every change. So, patience is a big thing - patience through change and just unconditional acceptance of one another.
Is there a funny moment when you were dating that you can recall?
Bruddah Sam: The only picture I had of her before was the one from Na Wai’s Rainbow Journey CD, and I thought she was the Hawaiian one. So when I finally met her in person, I was like, ‘hey, wait a minute, you’re the Tongan one!’
Lina Girl: He fell in love with Bella’s face. It’s funny now, ‘cause Bella laughs about it and so does her husband.
Page 3 of 3 pages for this story < 1 2 3
E-mail this story | Print this page | Comments (0) | Archive | RSS
Most Recent Comment(s):
